Monday, August 3, 2009

Shades of Grey

This entry is about faults and wrongs and wrongs committed against those we love and how we perceive these same wrongs committed by others. We are very quick to designate people good or bad, kind or mean, angry or passive. Very black and white designations for people who are neither. This is a very common and base thought, I know, but allow me to elaborate. 

No one is wholly good or evil, we are all shades of grey. Some have a callous and gruff exterior hiding a soft side, others of us are just the opposite and there are makes and models to fit all the spaces in between. The key to understand is that we all fuck up. We all commit acts which bring pain and suffering to others. Sometimes these acts are conscious and sometimes we do them without a thought to the outcome or to the pain it may cause others. Sometimes we are just too selfish to even consider that our actions affect anyone other than ourselves. 

At times we are all callous, mean spirited, self serving, vengeful, and more. We are also all adept at forgiving and rationalizing the inhumanity in ourselves, even while demonizing the same in others. We must forgive it in ourselves, we must rationalize and forgive for it is the only way to survive. If we acknowledged these actions not a one of us would be able to face ourselves day in and day out. The only option is to forgive. 

And if we are to forgive these faults in ourselves, how, tell me how, we could not forgive the same in those that we love? I am not a good man, but I try to be forgiving for the single reason that I am not good. I try and I fail. If I cannot be the man I aspire to be how can I condemn others for the same?